Just playing with my phone. I think I'll be updating a lot more:)

No I am not dead!

Oy, haven't posted in forever! Life has been busy, so fast forward to today... goofing off preparing for Dia de los Muertos!! I am totally celebrating this year with my friends.  

Just got done with my birthday, and made 3 epic cakes in the span of a month! whoa!!

 One Piece!

Jared got Bond, James Bond...

 And of course I made a Dilly cake!

New Color

:)   Finally I got a funky color to take. So pink it will be for a little while.  A few months ago I tried for Blue hair and sadly when I rinsed out my hair, all the color did too.

Just because I am an awesome mom and they don't have rules against it, I dyed Victors hair too. He's got a pink mohawk! Rory was sad but the elementary school specifically says that funky hair colors are not allowed due to being distracting... :(  guess Rory has to wait until 6th grade.

I am willing to be opened minded so my kids can express themselves but I will draw the line at anything derogatory or very offensive. My parents hated when I was goth and tried to censor me and I hated it!!

In other news Rory is turning seven next week. We made a rabbit pinata and I am currently painting it to match his rabbit Smokey.  I bought lots of candy and toys to fill it up with, even real girlie stuff for Keely and "her girls" that are coming...(little sisters of the boys coming).


I will post pictures of his party, in the meantime, lots to do!

Holidays officially over...

We got busy there for a few weeks... sorry for the lack of updates, plus i've got this cough I can not kick!

So... holidays. They were good. I got what I wanted. Had a great visit with family plus we saw the Nutcracker!

The whole family dressed up!

I got to meet a whole bunch of Jared's co-workers at their Christmas Party. I went to a women's circle for the first time! Ok, now that was pretty exciting and it was on Solstice too.

I am sad tho. I had a falling out with a friend and it is bothering me :( kind of puts a damper on things. I am also bummed too cuz there is no duck eggs available so i've been using my eggies really slowly. I've really cut down on baking, but I must get back into the swing of it cuz Rory's birthday is at the end of the month!!! He just lost his first 2 teeth over the winter vacation and he'll be turning 7 this year! He already made his cake request... he wants a rabbit cake!! O_o'  Wow, I hope I can pull it off.

Jared is in the process of fixing our projector and then we'll have some movie nights! Oh yeah!! Have a few date nights and maybe even go out to live music.

Short but sweet, I'm still alive and kicking, but boy it's hard for me to blog, hard for me to exercise too... it's Psych distracting me :D

Our Thanksgiving turkey Warning: graphic!

Here is the brief recap of our turkey's demise. Warning: a bit graphic!

My friend dropped him off and immediately tied up his legs so we didn't have to chase him. We put out plastic down to contain the blood and Jared got a piece of cardboard and we got the coolers ready.

I was walking around and started getting attached to him, so I kept my distance, since I knew we'd be eating him. Jared got him in position and was straddling him and he told me I had to hold the bag. I couldn't look!! I heard this loud cracking noise and the bird started freaking out, so I had to look. There was blood everywhere!! A lot of it was in the garbage bag but while the bird was freaking out he tore up the plastic so there was blood on our friends garage floor. Great, just great. I'm gonna be scrubbing up blood! I asked Jared what was going on and he told me that the turkey's head was completely chopped off, and it's wing had gotten loose and was beating up Jared's legs. O_o' Holy shit! It also made this disgusting gurgling noise and Jared said that was the blood filling up in the turkey's lungs.

He's a video (warning graphic!!!) of the few final twitches of the turkey.

Yeah, I missed out on the good part but I had my hands full until he calmed down a bit. Anyways, Jared made me help pluck but he removed all the innards and cut off the feet. I kept some of the feathers to reuse in crafts and in my dream catchers. This was an eye opening experience. Never really had to deal with anything like this before. I don't think we'll ever do this again for a Thanksgiving turkey. I'll tell ya tho, he was a yummy bird!!


We also killed 3 other birds that you can see in the video.

30 Days of Truth Day 3

Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.


I ignored my blog because I did not want to write this one. Honestly! Well today is the day I own up and tell the truth. I need to forgive myself for my eldest son's birth and childhood.

This was taken after his conehead went away.

I was 18 when I had him, and was a week overdue, so stupidly I said induce me... well 9am they started. About 6pm the doctor broke my water to speed things along. Along the way I had an epidural. They kept asking, can you feel the contractions? I said yes, cause I could.... needless to say they turned it up way too high. I slept some and then in the wee early hours I started pushing. I couldn't feel anything so I was pushing as hard as I could. I broke blood vessels around my eyes from pushing so hard.... so i'm pushing and haven't eaten anything for hours and I started puking while pushing. Lovely huh. Then the doctor gave me an option, forceps or vacuum... I didn't know what to choose and I had to choose one so I wouldn't have a c-section. I choose vacuum. He was born at 6:36 am. He also had fluid in his lungs, so they took him away to put in an incubator.

After that was a blur. I wanted to see my baby but my legs were totally numb. It felt like a whole day later I was wheeled down to see him. I tried to breastfeed him but was struggling. I also basically had an out of body experience too. I had lost a lot of blood and was anemic on top of it so I wasn't feeling myself to say the least. The nurses tried moving me to a different room, and I refused. They went behind my back and told my doctor and I got a you just had a baby, you need to grow up pep talk. SO finally someone figured out I needed something because my blood levels were very low. They pushed a blood transfusion on me and I refused so they gave me an iron iv. Thank god, it made me feel normal again, well as normal as you can after having a baby.

I brought Victor home and I struggled with breastfeeding him more. Was told to supplement him (instead of breastfeeding education) and ended up supplementing him until he was exclusively bottle fed. I felt like a total failure. So I went back to work and let my mom raise him while I worked. She got paid to babysit so it was nice for her to have an income, and I could work where I knew what I was doing.

My mom helped raise him until he was 4 years old and I got married. Instead of getting the support I needed and me fighting for my kid, I gave in. I was so depressed. I never really bonded with my kid. When I had him full time it was an eye opener. I am sad because we're still not real close. He lost his grandfather to cancer that he was close to and he's not really close to his real dad either.

Instead of dwelling on the past, I need to look to the present and future. I need to be there for my kiddo and love him unconditionally.

Winter Wonderland!

 Have you looked out the window recently? Let me show you what I see....

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!! We've needed a heavy winter here for some time. Just in time for Thanksgiving, I'm sure this massive snow storm that I swear covers all of Washington State is going to mess up many holiday plans.

I wish I already had my tree, Jared is making me wait so it will actually still  look good by the time Solstice rolls around. Luckily enough our neighbor has a tree that will suffice for now :)

It started dumping snow last night, with a school delay this morning. Right now it's still snowing, and they're letting my hubby and all of his co-workers go home early. The roads are bad!  The 50 million dollar question is are we still driving out of town to kill our turkey and bring it home? I am really crossing my fingers. Everything is set, we just have to drive there and now the weather is trying to foil our Thanksgiving dinner :(   I trust Jared's driving and his judgment, so this is solely his decision.  (Which I just heard was yes!)

On the other hand the kids are ecstatic!!  They keep looking out the window every 5 minutes and are seriously begging me to go outside and play. For now they are placated with The Grinch (with Jim Carey) with all the snow I'm starting all celebrating early including Christmas music and movies!!

 It's hard to believe Thanksgiving is in a few days. The snow is covering up the last traces of Halloween. Our pumpkin will be buried before I know it! We were very lucky and had a windstorm that blew away all of our leaves or else we'd have a yucky mess under our huge pile of snow. All this talk of snow is making me cold! I'm snuggled under my down comforter thinking of hot chocolate with marshmallows, steaming hot chicken soup, and the hot buttered rum that I'm so gonna make, as soon as I can make it to the liquor store.

I will be making a snowman at some point in time and we'll also take the kids sledding, for now I'm staying nice and warm and cozy till we brave the road tomorrow for our turkey, gobble, gobble.

Winter 2007 in Canada visiting family